Smash Hits – 1994

He grins galore on E Street and that’s why Simon Denny opens up the Cookie Jar and admits ...

“My nickname used to be Smiley!”

The rules – in the Cookie Jar there are 100 envelopes. Each contains a fiendishly difficult question. Simon has to open 20 envelopes, at random, and answer the questions inside. Sime can only pass on one, if he wants (and, hopefully, before the jar starts to eat him!!)

And the first question from the jar is ...

Q. Do mermaids exist?

A. No, they don’t, because I’ve been looking for them for years when I’ve been surfing. Many’s the cold morning when I was a ??? that I went looking for mermaids, heheheh.

Q. Do you have a nickname?

A. I used to have one when I was at school. They used to call me Smiley. I dunno why. (?) They probably couldn’t think of anything more clever than that.

Q. How much does a copy of Smash Hits cost?

A. For the public, $2.50, for the people who work on it, a lot of blood sweat and tears, and for the people in it, a bit of their personal life, heheheh. Actually, Smash Hits is reasonably good about that sort of thing.

Q. Do you play Nintendo?

A. No, I’d rather do the real thing. The only Nintendo game I’ve ever played was the California game – the one with the skateboarding and skating. I couldn’t co-ordinate myself and I would just rather go out and do it. If I was sick, I’m sure it would be great fun to play them though.

Q. Do you think Madonna and Michael Jackson really snogged?

A. I reckon they went all the way. But that’s their business, I guess!

Q. What did you want to be when you were younger?

A. Older. Older and wiser. That’s about it.

Q. What are your three worst traits?

A. I’m lazy, I don’t read enough, and if I didn’t have arms and legs I wouldn’t be able to explain myself. I don’t have a good vocabulary, in other words.

Q. Have you ever had your ears pierced?

A. Once I had one ear pierced for about a week. I looked like a girl though and I took it out. It’s a bit of a cliché these days.

Q. What three things would you take with you on a desert island?

A. Slip, slop, slap, heheh. No, um sunblock, sunglasses and a 24 hour working chef that carries an abundance of food with him, so he can cook me food all the time.

Q. Do you need to wear glasses?

A. I don’t really know. I haven’t had my eyes tested yet. I do get headaches when I read things or concentrate on things though. I always wear sunglasses outside.

Q. Is Bruce Samazan’s hairdo very tired?

A. Ha! Oooooh .. Bruce isn’t going to like this one. Well, I don’t know what you mean by tired. It hasn’t changed much, if that’s what you mean. But he’s on a good thing, so stick to it ...  maybe.

Q. What’s the saddest thing you’ve ever seen?

A. Can I pass on this one? (Oh, if you must – Ed)

Q. Have you ever committed a fashion faux pas?

A. I’m sure we’re all guilty of that. Everyone has a different opinion of what constitutes fashion and it’s all in the eyes of the beholder anyway. Yeah, I guess I’ve made heaps of them, when I think about it.

Q. Who were you in another life?

A. Erik the Viking. No I was a Smash Hits interviewer, heheheh. (Poor thing!  - Ed)

Q. Do you think condoms should be available at schools?

A. Yes. Why? Why not, basically. The thing is, kids know about this stuff, they’re doing it and we can’t stop them, so we should be encouraging them to do it safely. I’m not condoning sex, but people have got to understand that times change, and what went when they were kids, doesn’t go now. That went out when the pill was invented.

Q. Who’s your favourite character in Beverly Hills 90210?

A. Shannon. It’s a good name. I have a good mate called Shannon. Shannon is a girl’s name, isn’t it?!

Q. Would you pose naked for a million dollars?

A. As long as I could cover my genitals with my hands, I would. For a million bucks, yeeeaaahhh! A million dollars is a million dollars after all. Who wouldn’t? (Erm ... – Ed)

Q. What are your views on religion?

A. that’s a tough one. It’s really a loaded question. To each their own, I guess, though some organised religions are a bit of a scam. They’ve caused a lot of wars.

Q. What was No. 1 in the charts two months ago?

A. Um ... (has no idea). “Under The Bridge”? Oh yeah! I thought it would get to No. 1 (Starts to sing a fair rendition of said tune!)

Q. Who was the last person you kissed?

A. My girlfriend. But you don’t want to know about that! (Pah! – Ed)

Scan: http://thebakerboy.ucoz.com/photo/photoshoots/magazine_scans/1992_05/58-0-9117