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Fanfiction
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| AgentM |
Date: Saturday, 07-Jul-12, 2:52 PM | Message # 1 |
 Bee's Knees
Messages: 576
Status: Offline |
Hey everyone!
Just thought I'd give us a place for all those writers amongst us to post links to their fanfiction.
I have written several stories for The Mentalist but links to any other stories connected to any of Simon's characters can be placed here.
For example: my profile URL is http://www.fanfiction.net/~agentm
If you type in the link you will get a brief profile and a list of my stories. The most recently added ones come first. My Mentalist stories start at number 9 (I'd suggest you start with 9 and work backwards if you want the correct order of the stories - confusing I know  )
PLEASE DO NOT POST your stories here, just the link to where to find them. Otherwise Fran will hunt me down like Red John!!!! 
PS if you read and like my stuff, please, please review them. I don't get very many even though I'm told I'm quite good at writing. I need to know the truth from all of you!
I know there are more of us out there ---- so post away guys. I look forward to reading your work. x
PPS Is it okay here, Fran?
Message edited by AgentM - Saturday, 07-Jul-12, 2:52 PM |
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| Fran |
Date: Saturday, 07-Jul-12, 3:07 PM | Message # 2 |
 Fair Dinkum
Messages: 4127
Status: Offline |
Quote (AgentM) Is it okay here, Fran?
Yep, its fine here - good idea to create a separate thread 
And thank you for pointing out that stories should not be posted here directly (because I don't want the job of having to moderate them). |
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| Hayseed |
Date: Saturday, 29-Jun-13, 5:40 PM | Message # 3 |
 Bee's Knees
Messages: 549
Status: Offline |
Hey Agent M, I'd never noticed this thread (you must have written all this before I found FF.net) but I saw a story by Agent M linked at TwoP and wondered if it was the same person. Looks like it is.
*off to start reading your writing* |
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| AgentM |
Date: Wednesday, 10-Jul-13, 3:52 PM | Message # 4 |
Bee's Knees
Messages: 576
Status: Offline |
Thanks Hayseed. I hope you like. I look forward to hearing your honest comments. |
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| AgentM |
Date: Sunday, 10-Nov-13, 11:06 PM | Message # 5 |
Bee's Knees
Messages: 576
Status: Offline |
Just uploaded my version of the final showdown between Jane and Red John. Wanted to get it up before we found out for real!!! Oh, the pressure!
Not to beg (well, shucks, actually I am begging...I only get better with feedback!) but I would love to hear your comments - you can reply here or on the fanfiction site at the end of the story
Here's the link Hope it works, if not, I guess typing it in might:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9836126/1/TO-CATCH-A-RED-EYE
I look forward to your thoughts.  |
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| Hayseed |
Date: Sunday, 10-Nov-13, 11:42 PM | Message # 6 |
Bee's Knees
Messages: 549
Status: Offline |
Agent M, I will look forward to reading your fic after 8.08 airs.
I was partially spoiled the other day by someone (not you) on ff.net, and I am not taking any more chances. |
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| AgentM |
Date: Sunday, 10-Nov-13, 11:53 PM | Message # 7 |
Bee's Knees
Messages: 576
Status: Offline |
No worries, Hayseed. I understand totally. I admit I don't actually read anyone else's stories on the site for fear of subconsciously using any of their ideas. I have also been trying to avoid the spoilers for this season. I look forward to your opinion in a few weeks. |
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| beautyfulbabyboy |
Date: Monday, 11-Nov-13, 0:59 AM | Message # 8 |
 True Blue
Messages: 782
Status: Offline |
Agent M:
This is just fan(-fictive-)tastic!!!!
I mean, really - such an incredible very best alternative to having a new episode on TV.....I could get used to it!!!!
I was caught up in the story from the first lines, I must say:
G R E A T S T U F F !!!
You certainly have some skills here!
Thank you so much for this entertainment!
Your take on it sounds so plausible, I would be surprised if Bruno´s version will be so much different! Well, wait and see.
I have to read it again for sure (not so hasty, the next time...I went through it pretty fast because I wanted to know, how it ends;))!
*spoiler-tags*: Now we go for ice-cream!
Message edited by beautyfulbabyboy - Monday, 11-Nov-13, 1:00 AM |
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| AgentM |
Date: Monday, 11-Nov-13, 7:51 PM | Message # 9 |
Bee's Knees
Messages: 576
Status: Offline |
oh wow! Thanks BBB! And thank yu for the review on the other site. too! Much appreciated. I'm glad you liked it. Here, this is for you  |
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| AgentM |
Date: Monday, 11-Nov-13, 8:04 PM | Message # 10 |
Bee's Knees
Messages: 576
Status: Offline |
Quote AgentM ()
Just uploaded my version of the final showdown between Jane and Red John. Wanted to get it up before we found out for real!!! Oh, the pressure!
Not to beg (well, shucks, actually I am begging...I only get better with feedback!) but I would love to hear your comments - you can reply in the fanfiction thread on this site, or by PM, or on the fanfiction site at the end of the story. I really am desperate for truthful (even if negative) feedback.
Here's the link Hope it works, if not, I guess typing it in might:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9836126/1/TO-CATCH-A-RED-EYE
I look forward to your thoughts.
Apologies for putting this shameless plug here, Fran. I'll remove it if you're not happy....I just got so excited that I'd finished it and wanted the maximum amount of honest people to read it!!!
From kul65 (moved from S6 spoilers thread)
Spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn't read AgentM's story.
So! Just finished it and it was quite good. I like the creativity of having ice cream cones and air planes play in, makes it a very vivid read. Now I am partial to Partridge, so that decision I was very happy with. Your idea to include Stiles in the final confrontation is also very intriguing and I can see why it even had to be. The lines are all very Mentalist and it was easy to imagine the characters we've gotten to know speak and act as they did. Great work.
If I were to issue some critique as well, I would say there is a slight lacking in Jane's deduction skills. Going back after the story is done to make the behaviour of the suspect and Jane's read there-of more accurate to what the plot ended up as would be my suggestion. I'm here referring for example to the discussion Jane has with the guy in the diner, where he notes that "didn't" is the wrong tense for someone telling the truth. I would say it's a rather accurate use, given the victim is no more. There is also Red John himself, post-reveal. I think your attempt to handle his persona is ambitious in the least, and there is a lot to live up to given the legacy you try to build on. That said, I would've sat down for a while to really think through what the two want out of that confrontation and how it makes sense given their history. Then let the characters come to life on their own. The best part was to me when Partridge simply invited Jane aboard the plane and Jane went along with it, no questions asked. That moment really made a lot of sense to me. More like that, where the two play of their own knowledge of the other, would have probably added a lot of tension and depth to the moment.
To summarize: Great story. Not many could sit down and finish a project that big, and especially not as well as you did. There are pet peeves, of course, but those are mostly in the details, and as a whole, the story comes of as ambitious and creative. Good job.
Thanks kul65. I really appreciate your comments and take them on board... As for the 'don't /didn't' scene, I agree with you because that's one of the scenes I wasn't really happy with. I switched it round so many times!!! I know Jane would have picked up on much more - and in my head, he did - from looking at the victim when he was up the ladder, and noticing the bruises on the gang member's knuckles...I think maybe I should have made it more explicit....He did kind of break the case by picking up on the necklace and getting the girl to talk though!
With regards to the showdown with Red John...again I had an alternate scene in my head where Jane and Red John had a tete-a-tete on board the jet. I could picture them verbally and mentally sparring with each other before anything else happened. The difficulty I had was the logistics of getting Jane off the plane before it left the ground. If he and RJ were in the cabin, who was gonna fly the plane? I could have had a minion do it, but it made it more difficult to arrange PJ's escape as he would probably have to make some efforts to save the minion, but then who would pilot the take-off to allow the explosion. The timings didn't fit. Believe me, I thought it out!!!
I also wanted to show the dichotomy of personality that festered in Partridge's body .... on the one hand, as Partridge, he was weak and insecure - not able to deal with confrontation and actually fearful of Jane a little. Whereas, on the other hand, as Red John, he had more confidence and would stop at nothing, showing no fear. That's why I kept switching between using the name Partridge and RJ. I hope it came across, even if just a little bit. I'm still learning my craft!!!
Anyhows, I loved your comments, I find it really helpful when I get detailed feedback like that. Thank you sooooo much!
Message edited by AgentM - Monday, 11-Nov-13, 8:08 PM |
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| kul65 |
Date: Monday, 11-Nov-13, 8:34 PM | Message # 11 |
 Cobber
Messages: 102
Status: Offline |
Quote AgentM (  ) Thanks kul65. I really appreciate your comments and take them on board... As for the 'don't /didn't' scene, I agree with you because that's one of the scenes I wasn't really happy with. I switched it round so many times!!! I know Jane would have picked up on much more - and in my head, he did - from looking at the victim when he was up the ladder, and noticing the bruises on the gang member's knuckles...I think maybe I should have made it more explicit....He did kind of break the case by picking up on the necklace and getting the girl to talk though! wink
With regards to the showdown with Red John...again I had an alternate scene in my head where Jane and Red John had a tete-a-tete on board the jet. I could picture them verbally and mentally sparring with each other before anything else happened. The difficulty I had was the logistics of getting Jane off the plane before it left the ground. If he and RJ were in the cabin, who was gonna fly the plane? I could have had a minion do it, but it made it more difficult to arrange PJ's escape as he would probably have to make some efforts to save the minion, but then who would pilot the take-off to allow the explosion. The timings didn't fit. Believe me, I thought it out!!!
I also wanted to show the dichotomy of personality that festered in Partridge's body .... on the one hand, as Partridge, he was weak and insecure - not able to deal with confrontation and actually fearful of Jane a little. Whereas, on the other hand, as Red John, he had more confidence and would stop at nothing, showing no fear. That's why I kept switching between using the name Partridge and RJ. I hope it came across, even if just a little bit. I'm still learning my craft!!! biggrin
Anyhows, I loved your comments, I find it really helpful when I get detailed feedback like that. Thank you sooooo much! biggrin
I did pick up on the Partridge/Red John switch and thought it was great. I use the same technique when penning serial killers.
One thing I forgot to mention last time was how impressed I was with your handling of Stiles. All of his lines felt very true to character and I could picture him trying to act calm and make it seem as if he had a get-out-of-jail-free-card even in the grip of Red John. Van Pelts Visualize thoughts were equally interesting, and I liked the subtelty in not spelling out whether she was referring to Rigsby or Stiles as her saviour. Not to mention how the stress technique she used felt similiar to blowing red smoke in 4.16.
Message edited by kul65 - Monday, 11-Nov-13, 8:35 PM |
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| AgentM |
Date: Monday, 11-Nov-13, 11:27 PM | Message # 12 |
Bee's Knees
Messages: 576
Status: Offline |
I thank you kindly, once more. |
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| Mossibecca |
Date: Tuesday, 12-Nov-13, 6:51 PM | Message # 13 |
Bee's Knees
Messages: 540
Status: Offline |
I'm looking forward to reading,but will leave until we know who it is on the show if that is OK |
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| AgentM |
Date: Tuesday, 12-Nov-13, 8:05 PM | Message # 14 |
Bee's Knees
Messages: 576
Status: Offline |
Yeah, no worries, Mossibecca. |
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| Tassie |
Date: Thursday, 14-Nov-13, 7:17 PM | Message # 15 |
Bee's Knees
Messages: 517
Status: Offline |
Although I haven't the relevant skills to critique someones writing, but just going on entertainment value alone-AgentM this was fantastic. Their characteristics were so well portrayed I could visualise them on the screen in front of me. In fact I hardly need to see the finale now, it's all been neatly sewn up already. The only tiny little thing that bothered me was Lisbon being referred to frequently as 'the brunette.' Sorry, only a little niggle. Anyway for what it's worth I thought it was brilliant-you have a great talent. |
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